Swine flu. Run for my life!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
