You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
