Pants 0. Shit 1.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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