Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
