I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The air taste purple.
Randomize
