Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
