did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
