It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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