K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
