Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
