There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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