what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is it penis luge time yet?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize