I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
