He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
