If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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