She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
