finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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