If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
