she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
