bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
