I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm always down for nudity.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize