Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
