nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
accomplished twins. life is a go
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
