I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
soo... how was my night?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize