My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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