dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
