its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
only if we run a train.
done.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The adults are the big ones right?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
