Small penises have feelings too.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
