she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
