Fine. I'll sleep in my office
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize