do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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