i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
