I have demons in me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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