I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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