i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
