this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
