Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
