The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
