why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
