I have demons in me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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