He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
