i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
it glows. i had to have it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
