I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
