I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
