Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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