I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
