Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
