just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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