You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
