she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
