Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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