Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
