He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
