he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
