I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
