The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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