I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
