I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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