he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
