i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
