I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
