Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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