Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
