he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
