Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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