I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
they're like a gay fantastic four
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
